I am proud of you, one teachers story (unedited)

Our dinners arrived and she dug in, twirling her spaghetti with her fork. So, I started as I cut my meatball in half, excited, having looked forward to it for quite some time now, how was your week. You know, one of those innocuous questions people throw out to keep the conversation moving.

She stopped doing what she was doing and looked up at me. Chris, it had its ups and downs. I thought; well as a teacher could it have anything but? The way she said it however, with a mixture of sadness and relief seemed to indicate her response was a little bit more than innocuous.

My friend teaches at a school that has been an “A” school every year she has been there and also for the six years prior. That’s a decade of excellence. It isn’t just one of the best schools in the county but also the state and perhaps the nation as well. The new principal, she continued, has really started to make things hard, all the teachers are stressed out. I have to have data notebooks this year and mine is already five inches thick (coincidently we are five weeks into the school year as well). I have to have RtI (response to intervention) lesson plans in addition to my regular lesson plans and I have to have an RtI period everyday. It’s hard too. I have to plan busy work for the other kids in the class while I do it. I feel like they are all missing out some but they aren’t the only one.

What do you mean, I asked?

She put her fork down, crossed her arms and looked directly at me. At first I didn’t know whether to continue eating or to stop and listen. I am at school till five o’clock everyday and then I take stuff home too. I have to, to be able to get all this stuff done. When I picked up my son the other day, he said mommy I miss you and it about broke my heart. He’s growing up so fast and in between the time he is at his dads and with all the time I am working I feel like I am missing it.

Wow that’s tough I said putting the meatball up to my mouth, but before I put it in my mouth it dawned on me, wow that must be really tough and it’s not an occurrence that is just exclusive to my friend. A few weeks back the mother of a pal of mine who has been teaching for over two decades told me she works from eight to six everyday and takes stuff home on the weekend, Chris, she said, it’s sucking the life out of me. A while back another friend of mine said she had to take a break from writing lesson plans to tuck her children in. Stress, overwhelmed, and all I do is work are also words and phrases that I have regularly heard from other teachers over the last few months.

This is what teachers do now. They have other children and televisions raise their children as they work on lesson plans and grade papers. They miss out on their children lives or if they are single their own lives to meet deadlines and get just part of the ever expanding mountain of paper work done. They do it for free too.

I put my fork down and wiped my lips with my napkin. I looked back at her realizing as busy as I was there was no way I could truly empathize with the feelings of despair she must be having as she missed her only child growing up.

I am sorry, I said and then nothing else for a moment. What could I? After a bit though I added, that’s the down I assume, what was the up. I got the map bonus she said smiling just a little. If you don’t know the MAP bonus is awarded to the top 25% of teachers and it’s about fifteen hundred dollars after taxes. When I got it a few years back I couldn’t use it to buy extras, I had to use it to replace my transmission. That’s awesome, I said proud of her, knowing she deserved it.

She smiled back; I could tell she was rightfully proud of herself as well. She reached for her fork and said yeah and I got it in the nick of time too. I nodded my head in agreement but as I reached for the meatball that had been waiting for me. I wondered what she meant. Nick of time, I asked.

Yeah Chris I really didn’t know how I was going to pay my mortgage this month.

I hope you just did the double take I did as I realized the situation.

This is one of the best teachers we have at one of the best schools we have and here she is missing her child grow up because she has to work all the time and if she didn’t get a one time bonus would have had to decide what bills she paid and what bills she didn’t. Well friends, welcome to teaching in Duval county 2010.

I know so many teachers that are pay check to pay check, living in fear of a flat tire a child’s illness, a broken washer or some other mundane life occurrence happening. I know others that have had to get part time jobs to make ends meet. I myself have my good check where I can afford to go out a few times and my bad check where I can’t.

I smiled at her even though I could feel my anger at her situation building and said, I am very proud of you. I was too as I am of the vast majority of teachers here in the county. People have no idea of the sacrifices and the difficult choices they make. They make them because improving children’s lives is more important to them than creature comforts and because they feel making a difference for others is more important than themselves. She smiled back as she started to twirl her spaghetti. I started at her for a moment as she did so.

I knew next month she would probably be back in the same place she was now. That’s missing her son and deciding what bill to pay and what bill not to. Sadly there isn’t a lot I can do about that. The public however could if they decided enough was enough, that it is important to them that their teachers aren’t living their lives pay check to paycheck and they have time to be with their families as well. Sadly though since that doesn’t seem like it is going to happen anytime soon, when the check came I said, hey let me get that, let dinner be on me.

Why, she asked.

Because I am proud of you, I answered.