Building kids of character: The Benefits of Giving

By Deborah Hansen

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. -Martin Luther

“But, Mom, why do I have to give some of my money to charity? Can’t everyone else earn their own money like I had to? And my $2.00 won’t make any difference anyway, will it?”

Well, Mom. Can’t they? And will that $2.00 donation make any ripple in the pool of need that exists around the world? Why plant that apple tree when the sower of the seed knows the end result will never be enjoyed?

Most parents have heard the litany of ways to introduce their children to charitable giving, so we won’t belabor those here. A more interesting question is raised when our kids ask “WHY?” How do we respond to that?

First, we must act it out ourselves in order to sell it to our children. This begins by keeping the giving close to home. Neighbors, friends, relatives, we all have times of need in our lives when those around us can make a huge difference in the quality of our lives. Simple things like taking our trash cans to the curb, bringing in the mail, walking the dog, driving to the store, can be lifesaving actions when someone is ill or otherwise distracted. Do your children see you reaching out to touch others in these small ways? If so, they will witness the impact each of us can have on the lives of one other. It isn’t a big reach from giving to receiving help when it’s needed, the web of interconnectedness enveloping us all.

We all have soft spots in our hearts, and our children are no different. We can tap into those sympathies, thus funneling the donations to those specific charities. Animals, babies, orphans, or whatever seems to touch our child’s heart can be designated as the recipient of those $2.00 donations. It makes more sense to a ten year old that her donation will buy a bag of pet food, doesn’t it?

Of course, we are laying the mortar work for later charitable gifts to nameless people or organizations on the other side of the globe. It is one thing to do a good deed for a neighbor, but how DOES that $2.00 get from here to there in any meaningful way, Mom? We need to help our children see the effect that their $2.00 has when joined with hundreds of other such donations. A simple math lesson might do the job in this case, and could even lead to your child convincing his friends to donate, too.

Another factor in teaching our children the “why” of giving comes from an internal process that happens when doing so. As parents, we know this. We would do anything, sacrifice anything for our children. To do otherwise, would make us miserable. Some say that humans, as communal beings, are “hardwired” to hold the needs of the group over our own. It simply makes us feel good, while ignoring the needs of others makes us feel bad. Parents can use this fact by pointing out the emotional payoffs their children get from acts of giving.

Planting trees seems like such a futile exercise, doesn’t it? Much like donating that $2.00 to an organization halfway around the world, the giver putting forth the effort with blind confidence that a stranger needs it.

And saplings grow into strong and sturdy forests all around us, planted by someone who had faith in something they would never see.

http://deborahhansen.wordpress.com/2011/01/05/building-kids-of-character-the-benefits-of-giving/