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Thursday, April 21, 2011

How to survive being a teacher 1-20

Teacher Maxim #1 - The worst students and a good principal is better than the best students and an incompetent principal.

Teacher Maxim #2 - No good deed ever goes unpunished.

Teacher Maxim #3 - Someday you will die. But that day is not today. Leave the work at school. Grade no papers tonight. Now is the time to live.

Teacher Maxim #4 - They're called mental health days for a reason. Take one.

Teacher Maxim #5 - Schools worked better when the students were frightened of the adults.

Teacher Maxim #6 - Standardized tests will be Christmas treed.

Teacher Maxim #7 - The emergency call button will be ignored the moment you need help.

Teacher Maxim #8 - It was better when there was corporal punishment. One tardy one swat. Two tardies two swats. There was NEVER a third tardy. Now students have 30, 40 & 50 tardies to class.

Teacher Maxim #9 - No effective classroom will ever pass Administration scrutiny.

Teacher Maxim #10 - Any teacher is only two students away from being handcuffed, arrested, and frog marched off to jail.
Corollary to #10: No one will believe you.

Teacher Maxim #11 - Administrators are not your friend. You're not even on the same team.

Teacher Maxim #12 - There is a 50% attrition rate for new teachers within the first five years. Plan to have a back up career.

Teacher Maxim # 13 - You are not paid to work at home. You are paid for 7.33 hours. Nothing more, nothing less.

Teacher Maxim #14 - If you are white and teach at a public school you will be called a racist at some point in your career.

Teacher Maxim #15 - No student will ever face punishment for lying about teachers, paras, and staff.

Teacher Maxim #16 - Student misbehavior in a classroom or directed at a teacher day after day after day is of no account. The same done to an Administrator once is grounds for immediate suspension/expulsion.

Teacher Maxim #17 - The teacher that writes referrals cares about the learning environment in their classroom. Inversely this proves to Administration that you have no classroom management skills and are thus a poor teacher.

Teacher Maxim #18 - Change the seating plan in your classroom every month. Just to make them think "where am I"?

Teacher Maxim #19 - No carefully wrought Lesson Plan ever survives first contact with students.

Teacher Maxim #20 - If you are a white teacher join the NAACP (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People). Then when you are called a racist you pull out your official NAACP membership card and say "I'm a member. Are you?"

1 comment:

  1. #21: Recently, a county chairperson from Duval County was quoted as saying that "They're going to do it anyway," with regards to teachers doing their jobs regardless of the shots they repeatedly take.

    Remember, you have very few, if any friends, in the state house.