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Friday, September 23, 2016

Cause Chartrand says so

From the Folio

Right now, the Duval County School Board is frantically backpedaling and tap dancing away from the to-fire-or-not-to-fire Superintendent Nikolai Vitti mess.
See, last Saturday board member Scott Shine sent an email to the press that claimed board chairperson Ashley Smith Juarez intended to call a vote to fire Vitti at the meeting taking place right now. Subsequently, Smith Juarez sent her own open letter to media in which she admitted to ever-so-politely suggesting Vitti take his talents elsewhere.
Then, when civic leaders and the business community circled the wagons round their boy Vitti, Smith Juarez backed away slowly with her eyes lowered like a hiker who's just startled a very rich, very powerful group of bears.
So Folio Weekly thought we’d help them out by coming up with some new slogans guaranteed to distract and enthrall the electorate – though we’ll admit these probably won’t keep some members of the board from getting soiled in the shitstorm.

8 New Slogans for the Duval County School Board

1.  Puts the ‘dys’ in dysfunctional
2.  Solve complex national issues centuries in the making in 3 years OR ELSE
3.  You’re fired
4.  Proud graduates of the Scarlett O’Hara/Rhett Butler Charm School for Belles and Beaus – and you better be too
5.  If we wanted to know what you thought, we’d tell you
6.  Real Politicians in Training
7.  Cause Chartrand Says
8.  Just say 'no' to Sunshine

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